Shows That We're Glad Never Made It #2: Clerks

THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS. We are through the looking glass. We are talking about a Clerks TV Show. NO, I'm not talking about the amazing Animated Series that Kevin Smith produced. I am talking about a Sitcom produced by Disney and Buena Vista Entertainment in 1995 without the permission of Kevin Smith.

I'm not kidding when I post this blog, because most people think this thing was a joke. Some think of it as an Urban Legend that doesn't exist. But unlike most Urban Legends, it remains one of the most notorious moves in television history: Clerks, the sitcom. Read more about it after the cut:

A little bit of backstory is required. Until recent years, Kevin Smith didn't own the rights to Clerks, he sold them when the film got picked up (which has since changed), so when the television show was pitched, he was not made aware.

Smith, at the time, was knee-deep in production of Mallrats. This is when it came to his attention; his critically acclaimed film was being turned into a crappy television show. As much as he tried to get involved in production, the network wouldn't allow him. In fact an episode he wrote for the show was shot down and thrown out (which later became an episode of the Cartoon). This is where the story starts to get nasty. Since it was pre-watershed material, no references to Sex or Drugs were allowed.

Also, the character of Silent Bob had been written out of the show, leaving only Jay. Whilst Smith didn't own the rights to Clerks, he owned the rights to Jay and Silent Bob. Jay was not allowed to be in the show. SOLUTION? Changing the name of Jay to Ray. REAL CLASSY. The final straw on the Camel's back was that both Brian O'Halloran and Jeff Anderson (AKA Dante & Randal in the original movie) auditioned for the role of Dante Hicks. Randal was already cast, played by SNL performer Jim Breuer. Nether of them got the part.

Kevin Smith's reaction of the pilot? "Terrible"

Other than that, very few details are known apart from internet talk, rumors and a few words from Smith himself. A copy is rumored to be on the internet, but I've been searching for years with no avail. A VHS of the unaired pilot was sold on ebay a few years ago for a large sum of money, and is supposedly still in storage in both Kevin Smith's personal collection and a number of the studios vast storage facilities. Maybe it's best we'll never see it again, even though I would love to watch it out of curiosity. Either way, I doubt it will be seen again. It's been taken care of by.......good men.