Jack White Is Secretly Laughing At Your Dismay

On February 2nd, 2011 Jack White announced to the world via his website, that the White Stripes would be no more, leaving millions of fans devastated. Even with the sad news of the disbanding, fans still had hope, you see, many (including myself) believed that Jack White's musical genius would allow even the smelliest turd to be turned beautiful. For all we cared, Jack White could smear his diarrhea covered fingers down a single guitar cord and nothing but wonder would emit from it.

Mr. White, it's become quite apparent that you've caught onto our feelings, for you have gone a step further. You didn't just smear diarrhea down your guitar, instead you've taken an entire bucket filled with the most vile collection of feces from across the world and forced it down the throat of one of histories most influential composer, forcing him to wonder, "how the f**k do magnets work?" That's right folks, for Jack White's next project Mozart and Insane Clown Posse have been fused into one mega-"f**k you". Hearing Violent J shout, "Mozart, dope for the most part, respected, because..." JESUS I CAN'T EVEN TYPE THIS SH*T

F**k it, just listen to the abomination after the break.